Look, you're doing something fundamentally wrong if your steak is gray. ♂️ The Maillard reaction needs intense heat and NO moisture.
First, pat that steak until it's bone dry, and I mean DRY. Any water on the surface and you're steaming it, not searing. Second, your pan probably isn't hot enough. It needs to be smoking, seriously. Cast iron is best for this. Third, stop fiddling with it! Put it down and leave it for a few minutes. Don't touch it! You need to build that crust.
I cook for my kids every night, so I've learned that patience and heat are key. You'll get there.